The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Famous Advertisements
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Alka-Seltzer:
Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is.
I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
Allstate Insurance:
You're in good hands with Allstate.
American Broadcasting Company (ABC):
Out is no place to be tonight.
American Express Credit Card:
Don't leave home without it.
American Safety Council:
There are a million and one excuses for not wearing a safety belt. Some are real killers.
American Telephone & Telegraph (AT&T):
Reach out and touch someone.
Let your fingers do the walking. (Advertising yellow pages)
Amtrak:
See America at see level.
Arpege Perfumes:
Promise her anything, but give her Arpege.
Avis Car Rental:
We try harder.
Bank Leumi Trust Company of NY:
If it took six days to create the world, why should it take four weeks to get a loan?
Bolla Wines:
Wine is a little like love; when the right one comes along, you know it.
Brim Decaffinated Coffee:
Fill it to the rim with Brim.
Burger King:
Have it your way.
Calvin Klein Jeans:
Nothing comes between me and my Calvins.
Cartier Jewelry:
Les must de Cartier.
Charmin Toilet Tissue:
Please don't squeeze the Charmin.
Chemical Bank-New York Trust Company:
When a woman's need is financial, her reaction is Chemical.
Chevrolet:
See the USA in the Chevrolet.
Clairol Hair Color:
Does she...or doesn't she?
Hair color so natural only her hairdresser knows for sure.
If I've only one life, let me live it as a blonde!
Coco-Cola:
The pause that refreshes.
It's the real thing.
Have a Coke and a smile.
Coty Perfumes:
Want him to be more of a man? Try being more of a woman!
Cunard Cruises:
Getting there is half the fun.
Doublemint Gum:
Double your pleasure. Double your fun.
DuPont:
Better things for better living through chemistry.
Federal Express:
When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
When there's no tomorrow.
FLORIDA CITRUS COMMISSION:
A DAY WITHOUT ORANGE JUICE IS LIKE A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE.
Ford:
There's a Ford in your Future.
Ford has a better idea.
Quality is Job 1.
Four Roses:
America's most gifted whiskey.
General Electric
Progress is our most important product.
GE....We bring good things to life.
Jell-O:
It sits as lightly on a heavy meal as it does on your conscience.
Jockey Underwear:
The best seat in the house.
Kentucky Fried Chicken:
Buy a bucket of chicken and have a barrel of fun.
We do chicken right.
Kool-Aid:
Moms depend on Kool-Aid like kids depend on Moms.
Lipton Tea:
Lipton's gets into more hot water than anything.
Lord West Formal Wear:
A woman's most important accessory....her escort.
Maidenform:
I dreamed I stopped traffic in my Maidenform bra.
M&Ms:
The milk chocolate melts in your mouth....not in your hand.
Maytag Appliances:
Our repairmen are the loneliest guys in town.
McDonald's:
You deserve a break today.
Metropolitan Life Insurance:
A child is someone who passes through your life and then disappears into an adult.
National Council on the Handicapped:
A curb is a wall to a handicapped person.
New York City Opera:
Come to the opera for a song. (Advertising subscription tickets)
New York Times:
All the news that's fit to print.
9-Lives Cat Food:
Hmph! Din-din. I'll eat when I'm ready. (Voice of Morris the Cat)
The cat who doesn't act finicky soon loses control of his owner.
Paramount Pictures:
The Eyes and Ears of the World.
Pepperidge Farm:
It's like ice cream that's gone to heaven. (Advertising parfait cake)
Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Pillsbury:
Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' from the oven.
Ralston Purina:
All you add is love (Advertising Dog Chow)
Don't treat your puppy like a dog. (Advertising Puppy Chow)
Red Cross:
The greatest tragedy is indifference.
Reebok Athletic Shoes:
Because life is not a spectator sport.
Rolaids:
How do you spell relief? R-O-L-A-I-D-S.
Rolls-Royce:
At 60 miles an hour the loudest noise in the new Rolls-Royce comes from the electric clock.
Scandinavian Lines Cruises:
HMS Scandinavia; she's oceans of fun.
Schaefer Beer:
Schaefer is the one beer to have when you're having more than one.
Seagram's:
Dryest gin in town. Ask any Martini.
Squibb Pharmaceuticals:
Adam and Eve ate the first vitamins, including the package.
(Advocating balanced diet rather than reliance on vitamin pills.)
Steinway Pianos:
You'll rarely attend a concert that's not attended by Steinway.
The instrument of the immortals.
Tareyton Cigarettes:
I'd rather fight than switch.
Texaco:
You can trust your car to the man who wears the star.
Trival Pursuit Board Games:
Every American is entitled to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Trivia.
United Air Lines:
Fly the friendly skies of United.
United Negro College Fund:
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
United States Army:
Be all that you can be.
Virginia Slims Cigarettes:
You've come a long way, baby.
Wall Street Journal:
The daily diary of the American dream.
Waterford Glass:
Born in fire, blown by mouth and cut by hand with heart.
Even when a piece of Waterford is dated, it's timeless.
Wendy's:
Where's the beef?
Winston Cigarettes:
Winston tastes good like a cigarette should.
Wisk Laundry Detergent:
Ring around the collar.
Yardley Lavender Soap:
The soap that's kept women in hot water for 200 years....and they've loved every minute.
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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