What is that thing on the end of your nose?
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WHAT IS THAT THING ON THE END OF YOUR NOSE?
by Bill Hall, Lewiston, Idaho Tribune, August 5, 1998
I was a bit startled to see this young woman coming out of a store with a drop of snot on the tip of her nose.
And she didn't so much as wipe her nose on her sleeve -- or on anybody else's sleeve, for that matter.
As she came closer, I realized it was not snot. It was jewelry. It wasn't a nostril ring. It was right in the middle, on the underside of her nose. She had a tiny nose ring in the tip of her nose with a small pearl or a jewel dangling from it. I'm not sure which because I'm squeamish and was trying not to look at it real close.
But I think it was a small pearl. In other words, it was a pearl-snot nose ring. And that's not a person a lot of people would like to have lunch with. There's something about sitting across the table from someone with a drop of something on the end of her nose that can ruin the soup course.
Normally, people wear adornments to become more attractive. Tattoos, for instance. While they are not everybody's cup of tea, tattoos are apparently attractive to a lot of people. They are simply a form of art that happens to be imbedded in your hide.
They have only one drawback from most other art. They are permanently hung in the same place. You can move the pictures on your house walls when you get weary of them in the same old location. But you cannot move the lovely tattoo of a rose from your left buttock to your right breast. Your only option is another rose in a new, even more intriguing location.
In the world of tattoo art, the only choice is more pictures. There is no opportunity to show off the ones you already have to some better effect. So there is a huge capacity for boring your audience after a couple decades go by and the same masterpiece is still hanging right there in the same old, increasingly hairy corner of the You Museum.
Worse, pop art is more like clothing in that it can go out of style. You can buy a new shirt. But that same style of tattooing is there for all to see now and forevermore. After a while, what was once dazzling can start to look like a 1927 cartoon.
Jewelry and body piercing are different. If you change your mind or styles go around the bend, you can always get new jewelry. You can even stop wearing body jewelry altogether and most, though fortunately not all, of the body's holes will heal.
Nonetheless, was there ever a time when a drop of pearl snot was considered in style and attractive? It's like wearing a lip ring with a drop of artificial upchuck hanging from it. It's not charming.
I'm trying to be open-minded here because I realize that life is a costume party. And I go to that party. You may not believe it, but some thought goes into how I look. I wear a hat in winter primarily to keep my bald head warm but as long as I'm doing that, I might as well wear a hat that goes well with my hazel eyes and my sallow complexion. And while it isn't the most stunning hat ever made, it is something short of nauseous. Most people can stand to look at it without getting
queasy.
The same is not entirely true of a pearl-snot nose ring. Which brings up the possibility that the nose ring is intentionally unattractive and is, therefore, a deliberate provocation, an attempt to outrage others and/or to drive away unwanted males.
I kind of doubt it was a deliberate attempt to outrage others because people doing that usually aren't content with just one such device. They will usually wear an odd nose ring, paint half their hair a new color and wear their underwear on the outside of their street clothing -- things like that. Almost by definition, people who want to do something that is in your face will not do it in a moderate way.
But this young woman, except for the nose ring, was dressed in a conventional way -- a blouse and blue jeans. She wore a standard hairdo. The ring was the only unusual thing about her. In truth, she was neat and attractive for a woman with a gob of snot on her nose.
So maybe she pops the nose jewelry into her purse when she sees somebody she likes coming her way. Maybe she just uses it when she sees some creep coming and wants to be unappealing.
