The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
A Jedi Knight Might be a RedNeck if ...
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1) if he uses his lightsaber to cut the bottlecap off a beer
2) if he says "these are not the beers you're looking for"
3) if that "Disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans and spare ribs
4) if the inside of the house looks more like Dagobah than the outside
5) if he calls his young apprentice, "Juner.(JR.)"
6) if he ever uses telekinesis to pull his jeans up
7) if the Force isn't the only thing that runs in the family
8) if he calls Hank Williams Jr. "master"
9) if his landspeeder has a gun rack
10) if he meditiates to old CCR records
11) if he calls Yoda his Li'l green buddy.
12) if he has ever said, "Anger... fear...aggression... Yankees...the dark side are they."
13) if his X-Wing has a still in it
14) if his lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base
15) if there is more oil in his robes than in his astromech droid
16) if his robes have the Golden Flour label on them
17) if he trim his beard and finds a Mynock
18) if he has ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill
19) if he uses Jawas for a drink holder
20) if he fights with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other
21) if he uses a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck
22) if he uses his Jedi healing powers to clear up his VD
23) if he thinks the best use of your light saber is picking his teeth
24) if he ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because he had to spit.
25) if his Jedi robe is Camouflage colored
26) if at least one wing of his X-Wing is primer colored
27) if he can easily describe the taste of an Ewok
28) if he can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks
29) if he think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets
30) if he has ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling
31) if his father ever said to him, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
32) if he's ever had his R-2 unit use its arc welding torch to get the barbecue grill to light
33) if he jump-starts his lightsaber off a car battery
34) if he beat the Gamorrean Guard in an "Ugly" contest
35) if his father's name is Garth Vader
36) if he got his lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids
37) if he’s ever beaten up Han Solo for lookin at his sister
38) if he constantly mistakes R2 units for beer kegs
39) if he counts B. O. as a Jedi power
40) if he's ever used a light saber to skin a deer
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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