The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
A collection of real groaners
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication!
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book and the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
Slogans Seen on Tee Shirts
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're okay now.
I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to do.
I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Of course I don't look busy- I did it right the first time.
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
4 out of the 5 voices in my head say "call in sick."
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
Return to The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
