The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Clone Humor
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INQUIRING CLONES WANT TO KNOW!
If the DNA bloody glove were cloned and produced a baby O.J. Simpson, THEN could we get a guilty verdict?
If we cloned Dolly Parton, would the clone be flat chested? I bet it would.
Are the Pope and his clone BOTH infallible? What if they disagree on something?
Could you clone Alan Greenspan, or would it have to be living tissue?
If Henry IV were cloned would he be Henry V or Henry IV Jr. or, wait... Henry IV Part II?
If the Hare Krishnas start cloning themselves, how will the rest of us find out?
If you cloned a prehistoric monster that destroyed Tokyo, wouldn't that be like playing Godzilla?
Would it work if I binged and my clone purged?
If Michael Jackson were cloned, is it against the law for him to play with himself as a child?
Do clones taste like chicken?
Would cloning cheapen and demean those penthouse 'twins' pictorials?
Would there be a market for genetic "factory seconds" and "irregulars"?
Should we clone Gen X'ers so there will be enough of them working to support Social Security when I retire? (Yes.)
Would it be ethical to dig up the remains of our founding fathers, create clones from the bone cells, and place them in a theme park called "Clonial Williamsburg"?
Is it true that if you clone yourself four times, one will be Chinese?
So, say I secretly cloned Bill Gates and raised him to trust me utterly and then killed Bill Gates and replaced him with the clone and then had the clone make me his sole beneficiary and then I killed the clone. Would it be wrong to do this to Bill Gates?
If Larry King clones himself and interviews himself on his show, wouldn't that pretty much make nuclear war something we can all look forward to?
If my clone had a sex change operation could I legally marry her? After all, she'd have an irresistible dry wit.
Would we want to keep a few ugly people around just, you know, to have a few laughs?
Could they clone Al Gore or would he have to be grafted?
If cloning becomes readily available, will the bottom drop out of the market for sperm donors? How am I supposed to pay my bills?
Some people might keep a clone of themselves in deep freeze for organ transplants. How many Boris Yeltsins would be needed for an adequate supply of livers?
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THE TOP 15 POTENTIAL PROBLEMS WITH CLONING HUMANS
15. Harder than ever to land a role in those new Wrigley's commercials featuring the Doublemint Octuplets.
14. Two words: Gilbert Gottfried(s)
13. Any scientific advancement that stems from the result of Scottish people doing strange things to sheep is bound to have dire consequences.
12. In mere weeks, Bill Gates (v1.0, v1.2, v2.0, v3.0, v3.1 & v5.0) has all the money on the entire planet.
11. Hillary's husband discovers true multiple orgasms.
10. If you think there are too many idiots shouting "Show me the money!" on every occasion now, just wait.
9. Rush Limbaugh takes his self-affection to a whole new level, and suddenly is IN FAVOR of same-sex marriages.
8. "Penn & Penn & Teller & Teller & Teller & Penn & Penn & Teller & Penn" much harder to fit on comedy club marquee.
7. And you think it's hard to find your size now!
6. 18-month waiting list for George Clooney and Cindy Crawford clones.
5. "Alternative" radio filled with even more Nirvana clones.
4. And the final score: the New York Gretzkys -- 408, the Pittsburgh Lemieuxs -- 399.
3. Can no longer count on the Grim Reaper to get Jesse Helms out of office.
2. Those apocalyptic words: "Ladies & Gentlemen: The John Tesh Philharmonic Orchestra!"
1. Seventeen Mark Fuhrmans, and suddenly OJ's defense doesn't seem quite as far-fetched.
Once there was a mad scientist who worked by himself in his laboratory. He was so lonely that one day, he decided to clone himself. Everything worked perfectly, except that the clone had a very foul mouth. The scientist worked with the clone, but alas, he could not make the clone clean up his language. He got so tired of the clone's language that one day he pushed him off the end of a cliff. A policeman rushed up to him, and yelled
"You are under arrest! You are under arrest!"
"What for?" the mad scientist asked.
And the policemans answer was:
For making an obscene clone fall.
Did you hear about the man who crossed a cow with a mule and got milk with a kick in it?
Or the man who crossed a Great Dane with a bicycle pump and got a dog that REALLY puts the wind up postmen (mailmen)?
Or the unlucky ancient historian who crossed Nefertiti with Titicaca and got a lovely pair of Nefercacas?
Or the man who crossed a field with Julie Andrews and got nothing?
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 07-30-2005
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