The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Dieting Jokes
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From : Tim Smith
RULES FOR YOUR DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts. Foods in this group include hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
6. Things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something (e.g., a sandwich and ice cream on a scoop from making a sundea).
7. Move-related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package. Foods in this group include Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.
JOKE DU JOUR
Two old friends became philosophical after downing several drinks. "What would you do if you only had 6 months to live?" Peter asked Dennis. Without hesitation, Dennis replied, "I'd move in with my mother-in-law!" "Good God, why?" Peter asked. "Because that would be the longest 6 months of my life!"
DAILY QUOTE
"Good things come to those who wait...but only what's left."
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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