| ISSUE | DEMOCRATS | REPUBLICANS |
| criminals | Give them a second chance | Give them the swift sword of death |
| the poor | Give them some food | Give them the swift sword of death |
| endangered species | Give them some food | Give them the swift sword of death |
| dictators | give them a way out | Give them the swift sword of death |
| the uninsured | Give them some health care | Give them the swift sword of death |
| the cost | $9,000,000,000,000,000,000 | $29.95 (cost of one sword) |
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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