The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Guess not! [grin] Being a member of a medieval research group called the Society for Creative Anachronism [SCA] you would be surprised what you run across when you are actually looking for something else get it?
Show me a NORMAL guy and I'll show you a BORING JERK!-hahahahahaha
Here are some "SCA" related jokes for you although you may not get all of them if you are not a member...enjoy!
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN IN THE SCA TOO LONG WHEN....
your kid can't make the highschool baseball team because they swing a bat like a bastard sword.
you get a Christmas card in the mail and you look at the shepards and background figures with a magnifying glass to see the costuming details.
your kid gets a cardboard punch out castle and you
a) take it away from him and put it together yourself.
b) point out the flaws in the architecture.
c) based on your assessment of the flaws in the architecture, figure out how you and you household could, hypothetically, capture it if it was a real castle.
your kid gets a bunch of plastic knights you swipe them to outline your tactical ideas for the next war/fighter practice with your friends.
you're a burly guy who looks like a Hell's Angel, but you do embroidery in public.
you hide the really awful costume references in the stacks at the library, so future costumers won't be led astray. Or, you write criticisms in the margins of said awful costume references.
you watch Henry V (or the Zefferelli Romeo and Juliet) over, and over, and over, again - for the costumes/fighting scenes.
your immediate family consists of only two rather small, thin people, but you justify your purchase of a full-sized van/pickup truck saying "We'll need the extra space for events!"
you're annoyed because the armor at the art museum isn't displayed so that you can get a good photograph of the back/insides.
when you do aerobics, you do galliards in time to the music.
when you make a new recipie you take out the potatoes, tomatoes and peppers, because they're OOP for Europe.
you choose your language courses in college based on what your persona would have spoken
you mutter "What a waste" every time you see rattan lawn furniture.
your reference section on your field of interest is better than the equivalent section in the local library.
you slip and begin a letter "Good Milord..."
you slip and date a letter "The Tuesday before Michealmass, A.S. XXVII
you're annoyed because your new printer didn't come with Luxhaeiul miniscule or Batarde as one of the standard fonts.
your idea of a sack lunch is mince-meat pie, cold mulled cider and wafers left over from the feast the week-end before.
your hobby takes more of your time than your job.
you start to wear your hair the way your persona might have worn his/hers. (Smith, it's not so much the waist length beard, but do you really have to braid it?...)
you sign a check...using calligraphy.
you name your pets after obscure historical figures.
you name your children after obscure historical figures.
people think your in a commune because you're alway talking about your "household".
people think you have a room mate because your answering machine says "neither Fred or Froddi are in right now..."
people assume that you're an exchange student/recent immigrant because they hear people calling you by the most outlandish names...
you never *really* have to worry about Hallowe'en costumes.
you can avail yourself of the Craftsman lifetime guarantee, because your wire cutters are worn out from clipping chainmail links.
when you hear the phrase, `the right to bear arms', your first thought isn't about weapons.
you feel more comfortable doing a bransle than the gyrations which pass for dancing these days.
you wonder if Dave Winfield or Candy Moldanado is "authorized" in single-sword combat.
you find yourself trying to tell the traffic cop that the helm you're wearing must meet motorcycle helmet standards, since the latter obviously will not stand up to repeated blows and the helm does.
you hear "brawl" and you look for a dance instead of a fight.
you think Wile E. Coyote should be hanged for abusing anvils.
you find yourself kissing a damsel's hand upon introduction--and you're at a business meeting.
you find yourself rummaging around junk heaps and discarded piles of carpet and mattresses--to make carpet armor--and you're not dressed like a bag person.
you tell people you're spending your summer vacation at a war--and you can't understand why they're staring at you.
you gaze at the lawn speculatively, wondering if there is enough grass for a sheep to live on.
you spend two years growing out your bangs because they're OOP
your boyfriend/girlfriend already knows better than to throw out things like or ange peels and activly looks for oak-galls, and you didn't even have to train him.
you decide to redecorate the living room...in late Elizabethan.
you haven't been bored in so long, you can't remember what it feels like.
when you ask the guy at the Welder's Supply store for 16 guage steel wire
for chainmail and he gives you a blank looks and asks, "What's chainmail?"
you shout "hold" when the car in front of you stops suddenly.or when you see a mundane thief...
you are wearing garb in public and someone asks you if you are in a play.
you are in a play, and someone asks if you are in the SCA
you convince someone to come over and meet some of your SCA friends, and they have already met under a different name.
the thought of apples and onions cooked together is not repulsive.
you put medieval quotes in your Master's Thesis, and you are in Computer Science.
you know more about the participants in the War of the Roses then you do about the upcoming election.
the name War of the Roses, does not call to mind a movie with Danny Devito.
you enjoyed the latest Robin Hood, but found it mildly annoying.
sable is black to you, not dark brown. you know what kingdom and barony people live in but not what state...gures in
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Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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