The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Title: Kook Book Humor #3 - Al Martin
Bagel:
A round, hard, doughnut-shaped bakery product introduced to America by Jewish immigrants. The derivation of the Yiddish word is uncertain.
Some possible sources are: "beygul" (an encounter with the devil early in the morning); "baygal" (to feel like one has a weasel in his stomach); "beykil" (a mouthful of flannel); "bikkel" (to eat one's luggage); and "bakul" (a brick with a hole in it).
Baked Alaska:
Extremely challenging dish that consists of ice cream placed on top of sponge cake, covered with beaten egg whites, then baked in a oven at high heat. Because of the trickiness of this recipe, cooks are advised to attempt more modest desserts such as Baked Iowa (jelly beans on a slice of fruit cake with marshmallow sauce); Baked New Jersey (a Mars bar on a Twinkie topped with Cool Whip); Baked California (goat cheese on a slab of tofu with a yogurt topping); or Baked Connecticut (cream cheese on a piece of pound cake with coconut shreds).
Baked Potato:
Soft, edible container in which sour cream, melted butter, bacon bits, and chives are served.
Baking:
Messy but reliable method to taking a complete kitchen inventory by removing and covering with a sticky batter every single utensil, implement, and container from every drawer, hook, cabinet, or shelf in the kitchen.
Barbecue:
Primitive summertime rite at which spirits are present, hunks of meat are sacrificed by being burnt in braziers by sauce-smeared men wearing odd hats and aprons with cabalistic slogans, and human flesh is offered to insects.
Basting:
Process through which cooking juices in a roasting pan are carefully transferred with a basting siphon, ladle, or spoon to the oven rack, bottom of the oven, the inside of the oven door, the floor, the stove top, and the counter.
Beans:
Edible seed pods of leguminous plants such as kidney beans, lima beans, black beans, and chickpeas. Although their high starch content can produce severe flatulence, beans are very nutritious and are easy to dry and store for long periods of time. Consequently, they were one of the first foods to be domesticated by man and appear in every ancient language including Latin ("detonatae"), Greek ("blammos"), Egyptian ("kerak"), Sanskrit ("fut"), Hindi ("bangha"), Chinese ("qu-pao"), Norse ("frjap"), and Old German ("blatte").
Bind:
1. (v.)
To hold together certain loose foods --- delicate little meat dumplings, for example --- by adding eggs, flour, or some similar substance which, when heated, causes them to cohere.
2. (n.)
A predicament, such as a cook encounters when he has added too many eggs or too much flour to the delicate little meat dumplings and must decide whether to serve them on a plate or with a tennis racket.
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Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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