The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Title: Kook Book Humor #6 - Al Martin
Camembert:
Delicate and delicious soft-ripened French cheese. There are easily a thousand different kinds of cheese, and since they vary enormously in appearance and flavor, they are customarily identified by their place in each of three separate categories. The first is type of milk: cow's milk (Brie), goat's milk (chevre), ewe's milk (pecorino), and milk of magnesia (American cheese). The second is texture: spoon (cottage cheese), butterknife (Boursault), fork (Gourmandise), knife (Swiss), clever (Cheddar), hatchet (aged Gouda), and chainsaw (parmigiano-reggiano). The third is aroma: yawn (processed cheese), sniff (goat cheese), nose twitch (Roquefort), sneeze (Muenster), grimace (Stilton), gasp (Liederkranz), and stampede (Limburger).
Candle:
1. A light that makes a mess.
2. A mess that gives off light.
Carving:
Laborious method of producing a meat or poultry hash right at the table.
Cauliflower:
A close relative of broccoli and one of the few white vegetables.
Because of its unique hue, it is often included in aesthetically pleasing but somewhat ambitious all-white meals consisting, typically, of peeled and boiled potatoes, pearl onions, creamed cauliflower, and sole with white sauce, served with a Chablis. In practice, of course most cooks find all-black meals a good deal easier to prepare, and since these repasts obtain their coloration not from the original appearance of the ingredients, but rather from an unintentionally prolonged cooking process at too high a heat, cauliflower may be featured in them as well.
Cereal:
The cultivated, edible seeds of domesticated grasses, including wheat, rice, corn, barley, oats, rye, millet, and sorghum. In ancient mythology, Pluto, the god of death, kidnapped Demeter, the goddess of agriculture (Ceres to the Romans, hence, "cereal"), and took her to the underworld, thus causing winter. He left behind her unpleasant half-sister, Farina, who provided oatmeal for the starving mortals.
Desperate for a change of diet, one young woman, Pandemonia (Casserola in the Latin version), prayed to Phyllo, the god of snacks, for something decent to eat. He gave her a covered dish, warning her not to open it no matter how hungry she became. Driven mad by the prospect of another bowl of cream of wheat, she snatched off the lid and to her horror out flew late guests, burnt fingers, scorched pans, failed mayonnaise, gummy rice, and Greek restaurants. But the container also held the secret for turning leftovers into tasty meals and, since the gods were notoriously fickle, those little paper doodads that go on the ends of lamb chops. Incidentally, according to legend, Casserola later married Linoleum, the father of the kitchen floor, and had two children of importance to cooks, Ajax and Lysol.
Chef:
Any cook who swears in French.
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Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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