The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Title: Kook Book Humor #7 - Al Martin
Chicken:
Versatile, reasonable priced, easy-to-prepare fowl whose regular appearance on home menus causes it to be greeted with scorn by family members. Oddly enough, the flesh of many exotic animals, such as frogs, terrapins, alligators, small rodents, odd birds, and even insects is invariably described to hesitant diners as tasting just like chicken. This striking coincidence presents an opportunity for creative cooks to vary a monotonous chicken diet at no cost and with very little effort by presenting suitably disguised chicken parts as rare and unique taste treats. A word of advice, however: a few easily acquired props, such as one or two peacock feathers, a tortoise shell, a spring-loaded animal trap, and some outlandish cookbooks, should be left out on the kitchen counter to be spotted by the nosy, and the recipe itself should be made unrecognizable since presenting "cottonmouth" a la king, "turtle" salad sandwiches, "swan" cacciatore, "crocodile" croquettes, or "muskrat" pot pies will tend to undercut the deception.
Chili:
Extremely hot-tasting plant of the genus Capsicum, usually added in powdered from to a dish made of shredded cattle.
Chili con Carne:
Incendiary dogfood widely eaten in Texas.
Chili Parlor:
A fistfight at which cooked beef is served.
Chipped Beef on Toast:
The only know dish to be specifically outlawed by the Geneva Convention.
Chocolate:
Delightful substance derived from the cacao bean. The word "chocolate" comes from its discoverers, the Aztecs of pre-Columbian Mexico, whose name for it in their native Nahuatl was chocolatl. Other Aztec words that have contributed to the language of western food are tomatl, avocatl, and tamalli, and stomachachl, Maaloxl, and Lomotl.
Citrus Fruits:
Lemons, limes, oranges, grapefruit, and other members of the citrus family. When cut or squeezed, these indispensable fruits exude a juice containing citric acid, a useful substance that helps cooks to quickly locate temporarily misplaced cuts, nicks, and abrasions on their fingers.
Clam Knife:
Tricky kitchen tool whose use invariably results in palm readers being able to tell at a glance that a given individual has recently been attempting to open clams.
Cod:
Important North American commercial fish that was once a mainstay of the diets of northeastern Americans but is now served primarily in a cake form as an institutional food, particularly at boarding schools and colleges. Its dramatic effect on young men who were fed it once a week is reflected in such books as "Cod, Graves and Scholars," "Cod and Man at Yale," and "The Cod that Failed."
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
Return to The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
