The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Title: Kook Book Humor #16 - Al Martin
Ice Cream:
Enormously popular chilled dessert dish made from cream, eggs, sugar, and flavorings. Despite the appearance of hundreds of exotic varieties, the old standbys, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and coffee are perennial favorites according to industry sources. However, the least liked flavors do change. Last year, they were, in descending order of disapproval: Danish Prune, Margarine Walnut, Pumpkin Marshmallow Chunk, Cinnamelon, Cranapricot, Persimmon Mint, and Manila Flap.
Imported:
Packed in a box, can, carton, or bottle with a label containing lies in a foreign language.
Insinkerator:
Mechanical food-disposal unit based on the principal of the teenager.
Instant Food:
Any food that can be prepared in less time that it takes to taste the result, throw it away, and clean up the pot. See "Junk Food".
Jams and Jellies:
Sweet fruit confections served at breakfast with toast, muffins, or other baked goods. Oddly enough, jams and jellies are considered diet foods, since the calories expended in opening the jars and packets in which they are sold greatly exceeds the number consumed in the course of eating their contents.
Jeroboam:
Double-magnum container of wine, equal in contents to four regular-size bottles. Wine also comes in bottle sizes called Rehoboam (6), Methuselah (8), Salmanazar (12), Balthazar (16), and Nebuchadnezzar (24). Quite recently, due to the influence of airlines on the wine industry, it has become available in the following miniature sizes: Ebeneezer (8 oz.), Silasmarner (6 oz.), Curmudgeon (4 oz.), Nibelungen (2 oz.), Leprechaun (1 oz.), Amoeboam (1/2 oz.), and Paramecium (1/4 oz.).
Junk Food:
Any packaged processed foods such as cookies, candy, and potato chips, the bulk of whose nutritional value is contained in the box or bag it comes in. See "Natural Food"
Junket:
Proper name of the once widely prepared infant's dish, composed of the solids (curds) and liquids (whey) in coagulated milk, that Miss Muffet was eating in the old Mother Goose nursery rhyme. Both the rhyme and the foodstuff have been updated in the latest edition of the beloved "Ms. Goose's Nonsexist Developmental Verses":
A woman named Muffet, a mayor, sat in large swivel chair eating tofu after a refreshing jog.
A member of the insect-American race invaded her personal space and she engaged it in meaningful dialogue.
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Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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