The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Title: Kook Book Humor #14 - Al Martin
Gastronomy:
The art or science of the preparation and presentation of food. This should not be confused with gastrology, a superstition-laden pseudoscience that purports to predict human destiny based on the fruits and vegetables in season and the number of stars held by the closest restaurant in existance at the time and place of one's birth.
Gazpacho:
1. Tasty, but often quite spicy cold soup made of tomatoes and cucumbers and garnished with croutons, peppers, onions, and scallions.
2. Nasal sound made by consumer of gazpacho after inhaling a portion of the garnish.
Gelatin:
A pain in the aspic.
German Food:
Distinct central European national cookery which, with two notable exceptions, has made a contribution to world cuisine of roughly the same importance as that made by English wines, Swiss seafood dishes, Canadian cheese, and Chinese desserts. See "Hamburger".
Glaze:
1. Confusing cooking term that refers to a number of distinct and complex culinary processes, e.g., to cover with a syrup of egg and sugar; to pass under a flame until brown; to apply an aspic jelly coating; or to coat with a white sauce.
2. Distant, unfocused look that comes into the eye of a cook after confronting a recipe that calls for a food to be glazed.
Gorgonzola:
1. Delicious, creamy, powerfully flavored Italian blue cheese.
2. Large, gooey movie monster featured in a series of Italian science-fiction films of the early 1960s, including "Gorgonzola gli Stupendi" (Mighty Gorgonzola), "Gorgonzola Frappara il Autostrada" (Gorgonzola Hits the Road), "Gorgonzola e la Lutta" (Gorgonzola Goes on Strike), "Gorgonzola e gli Rossi" (Grogonzola Joins the Communist Party), and "Ciao, Gorgonzola!" (A Monster and a Woman).
Gourmand:
Serious eater whose culinary opinions carry at least as much weight as he does.
Gourmet:
Anyone who, when you fail to finish something strange or revolting, remarks that it's an acquired taste and that you're leaving the best part.
Gourmet Frozen Food:
Major innovation in the convenience food industry that allows consumers to enjoy airline meals at home.
Gravy:
See "Tie".
Grocery Bag:
Large brown paper sack in which purchases of food and kitchen products are transported from the market prior to being distributed along the path to the front of the house, the landing outside an apartment, or the stairs leading to the back door.
Grocery Store Cart:
Self-propelled wire-mesh food carrier with three functioning wheels and a handle with mayonnaise on it.
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Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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