The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Title: Kook Book Humor #9 - Al Martin
Corn-on-the-Cob:
Delectable summer vegetable eaten with the hands. Since the sugars in corn begin turning into starch the moment the ears are separated from the stalk, it is often said that one should not pick corn until the cooking water is boiling. Corn-on-the-Cob is a messy dish to eat and one with a lot of unwanted parts to dispose of, such as husks, tassels, silk, and the cobs themselves, and so it's not a bad idea at the same time to warm up the garbage disposal, run a bath or turn on the shower, and get out the dental floss.
Cream:
Concentration of fatty substances that forms on the top of un-homogenized milk. Cream is readily obtainable in a variety of forms, including heavy or whipping cream, light cream, half-and-half, clotted cream, sour cream, and creme fraiche. Also available are non-dairy creamers and dessert toppings, which can be purchased at a store or made at home by collecting the fuzz off the back of a refrigerator and blending it over low heat with a mixture of white house paint, liquid soap, fence-post preservative and hand cream.
Crock:
1. Small earthenware soup bowl or storage container often made by earnest counterculture potters in places like Bennington, Vermont, and Santa Fe, New Mexico.
2. Explanation offered by owner of a store selling such pottery as to why a misshapen bowl with big dollops of gray-green glaze dripping off the edge is a work of art that a cook should be grateful to obtain for $40.
Crudites:
Appetizer consisting of raw vegetables like carrots, radishes, scallions, and celery. It is also commonly referred to as crappes, crummes, louses, or simply bore d'oeuvres.
Crumbs:
1. Pieces of stale bread, lightly browned and cut into small pieces, sued as a coating for fried chicken and in turkey stuffings.
2. Objectionable individuals who offer unsolicited recipes for dishes like fried chicken and roast turkey after taking a bite of yours.
Cupboard:
One of a number of places where the gravy boat isn't.
Cutting Board:
Any portable knife-resistant surface on which food is cut into pieces that are too large (chopping), too small (dicing), to chunky (cubing), too thin (mincing), or too stringy (shredding) for a given recipe.
Diet:
The specific types and quantities of food that any given individual will start eating tomorrow, next week, or after the beginning of the new year.
Dining Room:
Archaic name for a large, separate room that was once part of the floor plan in American houses and apartments. It is now almost totally replaced by the dining area, the feeding zone, the munching loft, the nutrition nook, the snack foyer, the dinner niche, the culinette, or the repastularium.
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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