The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
HUMOROUS COMPUTER ITEMS (1989 Collection)
From another Net:
ANALOG: Hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with crushed nuts. Served at parties.
BAR CHART: A list of places to go to when it's Miller time.
BASIC: A form of motion sickness that occurs only after waiting for two hours to cross to Ocean City. (or what one feels after experiencing a 7.1 earthquake)
BIT: Similar to a nibble. Commonly eight nibbles in a mouthful. See Byte.
BUBBLE MEMORY: A derogatory term, usually referring to a person's intelligence. See also Vacuum Tube.
BYTE: A mouthful, as in "How many bytes in a Big Mac?"
CHARACTER DENSITY: The number of very weird people in your office.
CHIP: Any number of small crunchy objects often served with onion dip.
CODE: Usually lasts three to five days, accompanied by a sore throat and runny nose.
COMMAND: Statement presented by a human and accepted by the computer in such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.
COMPILE: A heap of decomposed vegetable matter.
CURSOR: An expert in the use of four-letter words.
DEBUG: The act of placing shoe leather against a small creeping creature.
FLOPPY DISCS: A defect occurring in all 1982 disc drives, necessitating a factory recall.
GIGO: A movie industry acronym referring to the numerous "Gidget Goes..." movies, e.g. GIGO Hawaiian, GIGO Crazy, GIGO Surfing, etc.
GLITCH: Scientific name for the little balls of fuzz that collect in navels.
HARDWARE: Typically boots, leather, and chains. Contrast with Software.
INTERFACE: The opposite of "Getouttamyface".
K: A term used in employment ads to disguise how much they are really willing to pay.
KEY-PUNCHING: An activity similar in many aspects to cowpoking.
MEGAHERTZ: A very large car rental company.
MODEM: A contraction. Commonly used as in "Give me modem cookies."
NETWORK: The occupation of a fisherman.
OUTPUT: What people who talk backwards do with their cat.
RAM: A male sheep with horns.
REAL-TIME: Here and now, as opposed to fake time which only occurs there and then.
ROM: A Ram after a delicate operation.
SEMI-CONDUCTOR: A person hired to lead an orchestra before he has graduated from the famous director's school.
SERIAL PROCESSING: The procedure through which corn flakes are arrived.
SOFTWARE: Typically silk nightgowns, nylons: contrast with Hardware.
STRING: An object a kitten will play with but, if given to a cat, will cause him to leave home.
TRANSISTOR: A sibling: e.g. a transbrother.
VACUUM TUBE: A derogatory term. See Bubble memory.
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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