The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
From the Internet:
Old ACADEMICS never die...they just lose their faculties.
Old ACCOUNTANTS never die...they just lose their balance.
Old ACCOUNTS never die...they are deleted.
Old ACTORS never die, they just drop a part.
Old ALCOHOLICS/DRUG ADDICTS never die...they just get wasted.
Old ANESTHESIOLOGISTS don't die...they just run out of gas.
Old ANTHROPOLOGISTS never die...they just become history.
Old ARCHERS never die...they just bow and quiver.
Old ARCHITECTS never die...they just lose their structures.
Old ASSETS never die...they just depreciate.
Old ASTRONAUTS never die...they just go to another world.
Old ATOMS never die...they just decay.
Old BANKERS never die...they just lose interest.
...they just want to be a loan.
Old BARBERS never die...they just become old cup-ups.
Old BASEBALL PLAYERS never die...they just go batty.
...they just run their last lap.
Old BASKETBALL players never die...they just go on dribbling.
Old BEEKEEPERS never die...they just buzz off.
Old BIKERS never die...but they're hard on tires.
Old BIOLOGISTS never die...they just ferment away.
Old BLONDES never fade...they just dye away.
Old BOOKKEEPERS never die...they just lose their figures.
Old BOOKS never die...they just go out-of-print.
Old BOWLERS never die...they just end up in the gutter.
Old BRAKES never die...they just grind down.
Old BUDGETS never die...they are filibustered.
Old BUREAUCRATS never die...they just waste away.
Old BURGLARS never die...they just steal away.
Old BUSINESSES never die...they just get consolidated.
Old CANNERS never die...they are preserved.
Old CARS never die...they just get run into the ground.
Old CASHIERS never die...they just check out.
Old CHAUFFEURS never die...they just lose their drive.
Old CHEMISTS never die...they just do it inorganically.
...they just fail to react.
...they just lose their refluxes.
...they just reach equilibrium.
Old CLEANING PEOPLE never die...they just kick the bucket.
Old COMPOSERS never die...they just decompose.
Old COMPUTER PEOPLE never die...they just lose their memory.
Old COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die...they just byte the dust.
...they just lose it bit by bit.
...they just byte the big one.
Old COOKS never die...they just get deranged.
Old CREDIT CARDS never die...they just expire.
Old DAREDEVILS never die...they just get discouraged.
Old DEANS never die...they just lose their faculties.
Old DIETERS never die...they just waist away.
Old DIVERS never die...they just extend their bottom time.
...they just flop.
...they just get board.
...they just lose their spring.
Old DOCTORS never die... they just lose their patience.
Old ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS never die...they just have slower rise times.
Old ELECTRICIANS never die...they just lose contact.
...they just lose their charge.
Old ENERGIZER BUNNIES never die...they go on, and on, and on...
Old ENGINEERS never die...they just lose their bearings.
Old ENVIRONMENTALISTS never die...they are just recycled.
Old ESKIMOS never die...they just get cold feet.
...they just go cold.
Old EXORCISTS never die...they just give up the ghost.
Old FARMERS never die...they just go to seed.
...they just spade away.
Old FATHERS never die...they just become grandfathers.
Old FISHERMEN never die...they just get reel tired.
...they just smell that way.
Old FOOTBALL PLAYERS never die...they just go to the end zone.
Old FORESTERS never die...they just pine away.
Old FRIDGE REPAIRMEN never die...they just blow their cool.
Old FROGS never die...they just croak.
Old FRUIT never die...it just pear-ishes.
Old GARAGEMEN never die...they just retire.
Old GEOLOGISTS never die...they just recrystallize.
Old GHOST TOWNS never die...they become desolate.
Old GOLFERS never die...they just lose their balls.
...they just keep putting along.
Old GRAPHIC ARTISTS never die...they just de-rez.
Old HAMS never die...they just get grounded.
Old HARDWARE ENGINEERS never die...they just cache in their chips.
Old HELSINKI TOURISTS never die...they just vanish into Finn Air.
Old HIKERS never die...they just trail away.
Old HIPPIES never die...they just smell that way.
Old HOCKEY PLAYERS never die...they just achieve their final goal.
Old HOMEBREWERS never die...they just ferment away.
Old HUNTERS never die...they just stay LOADED.
Old HYPOCHONDRIACS never die...they just imagine it.
...they just lose their grippe.
Old INTERPRETERS (for the deaf) never die...they just sign off.
Old INVESTORS never die...they just roll over.
Old JOKES never die...they just get retold by the young.
Old JOURNALISTS never die...they just get de-pressed.
Old KAYAKERS never die...they just roll back over, and do it again.
Old KEY PUNCH OPERATORS never die...they just punch out.
Old KIDS never die...they just adulterate.
Old KIDS never die...they just grow up.
Old KLEPTOMANIACS never die...they just steal away.
Old LASER PHYSICISTS never die...they just become incoherent.
Old LAWYERS never die...they just lose their appeal.
...they just lose their briefs.
Old LIGHT BULBS never die...they just blink out.
Old LIMBO DANCERS never die...they just go under.
Old LINGUISTS never die...they just rearrange their deep structures.
Old MAGICIANS never die...they just disappear.
...they just float away.
...they just make a big production of it.
...they just they just change color.
...they just they're just fooling themselves.
Old MAIDS count on fingers...but young girls count on legs.
Old MATHEMATICIANS never die...they just disintegrate.
Old MEDIUMS never die...they are just visiting their friends.
Old MERCENARIES never die...they find someone else to take their place.
...they just go to hell to regroup.
Old METEORS never die...they just burn up.
Old MILKMAIDS never die...they just lose their whey.
Old MINISTERS never die...they just go out to pastor.
Old MPs never die...they just attain peerage.
Old MUSICIANS never die...they just decompose.
...they just get played out.
...they just go from bar to bar.
Old NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS never die...they just go off-line.
Old NUMERICAL ANALYSTS never die...they just get disarrayed.
Old OWLS never die, they just don't give a hoot.
Old PACIFISTS never die...they just go to peaces.
Old PARADOXES never die...they just become enigmas.
Old PENGUINS never die...they just get hard of herring.
Old PHOTOGRAPHERS never die...they get sent to the old focus home.
...they just stop developing.
Old PILOTS never die...they just buzz off.
...they just go to a higher plane.
Old PLANETS never die...they just lose their attraction.
Old PLASTIC never dies...they just recycle it.
Old PLUMBERS never die...they just go down the drain.
Old POLICEMEN never die...they just cop out.
Old POSTMEN never die...they just lose their zip.
Old PREACHERS never die...they just lose their wind.
Old PROGRAMMERS never die...they just decompile.
...they just reassemble into another life form.
Old QUILTERS never die...they just go to pieces.
Old SKIERS never die....they just go over the hill.
Old SURFERS don't die...they just get wiped out.
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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