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You've probably seen and scored yourself on the Purity Test, the Talk.Bizarre test, the Nerd test, and numerous others. You need more trivia to rate yourself against the rest of the world. You need trivia you understand. You need trivia you can care about.
And so, for the third time, we present the...
OFFICIAL COMP.SYS.MAC TEST (NOT)!
VERSION 3!!!
(C) L.H.Wood@lut.ac.uk and friends
Based on the sayings and doings of the group over the recent months. This October 1993 test may be out of date very soon - suggestions are welcome, because we've just run out of ideas.
This test is scored purely on experience points. If you can answer 'yes' to a question, it's an experience point, and you follow the indented related questions in that cascade. If you answer no, score nothing for that question,and look at the next question at the same indentation level.
Score an extra point every time you admit to feeling smug.
The more the points, the more your guru status, and the smugger you must be. If you score maximum points, you obviously cheated.
This test is not for the humo(u)r... differently-abled.
:-) :-) :-)
EASY STARTERS
Do you own a Mac?
Do you feel smug?
HISTORY
Do you know how much the Lisa cost at launch?
Did you buy one?
Was it tax-deductible as business equipment?
Did you get rid of it eventually?
By donating it to a landfill for a tax break?
Do you know how much the Portable weighed at launch?
Did you buy one?
Did you ever lock your bicycle to it?
Did you get rid of it eventually?
By dropping it on soft ground to let it sink its own landfill?
Did you take it on your travels?
By bicycle?
Just to lower the centre of gravity?
Into orbit?
Did you aim those floppy disks at your crewmates before ejecting?
Did your budget stretch to an AppleLink account?
Was it finally truly portable?
Do you know how much memory the IIfx had at launch?
Did you buy one?
Did you plug an accelerator into the PDS slot?
Did you get rid of it eventually?
By putting the wrong SCSI terminators on it?
PORTS
Do you know what SCSI is?
Can you pronounce it?
Do you own a SCSI device?
Do you own more than two SCSI devices?
Do you own more than eight SCSI devices?
Find out how far you can stretch your SCSI chain and still have it work:
At least 2 feet?
At least 4 feet?
At least 8 feet?
At least 16 feet?
Have you ever got a SCSI chain to work?
Do you know how you did it?
Have you dared alter it since?
Have you ever destroyed a SCSI device?
A) By plugging it in with the power on?
B) By jumping up and down on it because you couldn't get it work?
C) By trying B) after A)?
How many SCSI devices can you put in a chain?
Seven?
Eight?
How many SCSI devices can you put in a chain and have it work?
One?
Two?
Three or more?
Do you feel smug?
Do you know what ADB is?
Do you own an ADB device?
Do you own more than two ADB devices?
Do you own more than three ADB devices?
Have you ever damaged an ADB device?
By plugging it in with the power on?
By wearing out your mouse?
By pressing your mouse button?
Was it a Malaysian mouse button?
Could you fix it?
Did you have Easy Access installed?
Did you use it?
Do you feel smug?
Do you know what serial is?
Did you have some for breakfast?
Do you feel the serial port ought to be a 25-way?
So then you can buy Macs as they meet compatibility criteria?
Because you can always buy a 25-way plug and build a lead?
Because more pins equates to more speed?
Because you're never sure if the GPi pin is supported, dammit?
Do you know what PDS is?
Do you know what cards you can fit into your PDS slot?
Will they work?
Do you know what cards you can't?
Because they won't fit into the slot?
Because they won't fit into the case?
Because they won't work when they're fitted?
How many PDS variations do you think there are:
At least 2?
At least 4?
At least 8?
At least 16?
One per Mac model?
One per PDS card?
Do you know what Nubus is?
Do you know what cards you can fit into your Nubus slot(s)?
Will they work?
Do you know what cards you can't?
Because they won't fit into the case?
Because the case will melt?
Because all your Nubus slots are filled?
With video cards?
Do you feel smug?
With Rockets?
Do you feel very smug indeed?
YOUR WORLD. YOUR MONEY.
Are you now, or have you ever been, a FiloFax owner?
When you first saw played with a Newton, was the first thing you said:
"Where's the cover?"
"Where's the joypad?"
"Where's the contrast?"
"Where's the software?"
"Does it come with Tetris?"
"Will it run Zarch?"
"I didn't write THAT."
Do you have a Newton on order?
Do you have a Newton?
Do you feel smug?
Does it recognise your handwriting?
On a regular basis?
Correctly?
Do you feel very smug indeed?
Did you have a Newton?
Did you make a profit on selling it?
Do you feel smug?
Did you buy another one?
Do you feel very smug indeed?
Do you sell Newtons by:
Showing people how well it can recognize your handwriting?
Do you sell many Newtons?
Showing people how well it can recognize their handwriting?
Do you sell any Newtons?
Pointing out the number of shipping applications?
Including the ones from Microsoft?
Pointing out how well you can play games on it?
Even though there isn't a plug-in joypad?
And there aren't any games?
And it doesn't say 'Nintendo' on it?
Pointing out the wireless communication facilities?
Available soon in a country near you?
Just taking the money and saying they'll be in stock sometime soon?
CRASHING
Did your System ever seem to take up a lot of memory?
Did you ever post asking why?
Did you follow yourself up, asking for no more replies, please?
Did you show off your knowledge by replying to someone else asking why?
Did they follow themselves up, asking for no more replies, please?
Do you think this will ever stop?
Even though 24-bit mode is removed from new Mac releases?
Do you now know what 32-bit addressing is?
Does your Mac run faster when you turn it on?
Do you know why?
Can you prove it?
Does your Mac crash when you turn it on?
Is it a programming error on your part?
Does your Mac refuse to start up if you turn it on?
Is it a programming error on your part?
Does your Mac crash when you turn it off?
Is it a programming error on your part?
Does your Mac refuse to start up if you turn it off?
Is it a programming error on your part?
Does your Mac crash anyway?
But only when it's turned on?
Do you resolve not to turn your Mac on?
Even for screensavers?
Is it a programming error on your part?
Did you install MacsBug?
Does it make you feel more confident?
Does your Mac seem to crash more often?
But only in the screensaver?
SCREEN DEPTHS
Do you have color?
Do you feel smug?
Were you smug?
Back when no-one else had it?
Even though all you had was Crystal Quest?
Do you think it's necessary?
Only for games?
Only for pre-press?
Do you think it's remotely useful?
Do you have 2-bit color?
Do you think it's necessary?
Do you think it's remotely useful?
Does anyone?
Do you have 16-bit color?
Do you feel very smug?
Do you think it's necessary?
Only for QuickTime?
Do you have 24-bit color?
Do you feel extremely smug?
Do you think it's necessary?
For you?
Do you have 16- AND 24-bit color?
Do you feel extremely smug indeed?
On an active-matrix display?
Do you feel ridiculously smug?
Are you ahead of your time?
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 05-05-2002
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