The Coffee Place's Joke Stack

• Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
• Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
• Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN's homepage to your bookmarks.
• You have a "to do list" that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off.
• You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.
• Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains.
• You consider 2nd day air delivery painfully slow.
• You assume the question to valet park or not is rhetorical.
• You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet.
• Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
• Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long some of the products don't even exist any more.
• You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their profits.
• You get all excited when it's Saturday and you can wear sweats to work.
• You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.
• You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
• You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
• You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are acceptable English phrases.
• You know the people at the airport hotels better than you know your next door neighbors.
• You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday night plans.
• You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.
• You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.
• You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person
• You try to enter your password on the microwave.
• You now think of three espresso's as "getting wasted."
• You no longer own a real deck of cards because all your favorite card games [solitaire, spades, and hearts] are all played on your computer.
• Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen.
• You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
• The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
• You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back "What's for dinner?"
• Your friend's daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.

Changes were last made on 11-20-2001

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