The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Java Application
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A design proposal for a new Java application was accidentally forwarded by the development staff to the legal department. This was their response:
We are concerned that you have not included all necessary items in the project plan. There are implications you have not factored into the project's costs. Please assess and respond:
1. State and local tax authorities will assess a property tax on all accessible properties of your program objects.
2. If these properties are inherited by any subclasses, we will be subject to state and federal estate taxes.
3. If the developers increase the value of any object properties before reclaiming their resources, we may be subject to a federal capital gains tax.
4. If you serialize any objects for transmission, please secure syndication rights from the production studio.
5. Please make sure that all constructors comply with OSHA and minority contractor regulations.
6. If any mutator methods exist, we should hire an engineering firm to determine EPA compliance, and possible Superfund cleanup.
7. Private inspector methods must be licensed with the state Attorney General's office.
8. Method invocations must not be biased towards a specific religion or creed.
9. It is against company policy to provide references to objects which are no longer in use, as this exposes us to defamation lawsuits.
11. Public properties can only be used for noncommercial purposes; please restrict commercial activities to private properties.
12. Private properties can only be used for the purpose that the local zoning regulations permit.
13. Polymorphism may be illegal in most of the fifty states, except for Utah.
Cory Kim
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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