The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Unbelievable stories
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last winter a cow nearby caught such a cold she gave nothing but ice cream.
........
There is a man in this town who is so tall he has to stand on a ladder to shave himself. In fact, he has to get on this knees just to put his hands in his pockets. When he was born he was so big it was impossible to name all of him at once. He has a son who is growing so fast his shadow can't keep up with him. Nor can his clothes. One day his head grew three inches through the top of his hat.
........
There is a man nearby whose feet are so large that when it rains he lies down and uses them as umbrellas. And when the sun is too hot, he does the same thing to provide some shade.
........
Not too far from here there is a farmer who is so strong that when his horse fell in a well, he dug up the whole thing and gently poured him out. He has a wife who is so clean that one day she scrubbed the kitchen floor too hard and went right through into the basement. It is their farm that is the problem. It is so muddy they have to jack up the cows to milk them.
........
There is also a family in this town that is so lazy it takes two of them to sneeze. One throws his head back. And another goes AH-CHOO! It also takes two of them to chop wood. One swings the ax. And another grunts.
........
There is a man not too far away who is so dirty that when he finally took a bath, he found some underwear he thought he had lost two years before.
........
There is also a man who is so forgetful that one night he put his cat to bed and put himself outside. He did not discover his mistake until a dog chased him and he found he could not climb a tree. Another time he put his best shirt to bed and sent himself to the laundry to be washed. But he didn't realize what he had done until they tried to iron him.
........
There is also this woman who is so smart it hurts to think about it. Each night she fries herself a giant buckwheat cake, then rushes it sizzling hot to her bed where she uses it as a blanket. Then each morning on arising she eats it for breakfast.
Have you heard about these people?
-The man who threw his shoes away because he thought they were sticking their tongues out at him.
-The girl who went to the corner to see the traffic jam. A truck came along and gave her a jar.
-The family who moved to the city because they heard the country was at war.
-The girl who was so bashful she went into a closet to change her mind.
-The football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub.
-The man who wore a winter coat to a baseball game because he heard thousands of fans would be there.
-The girl who put her bed in the fireplace because she wanted to sleep like a log.
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
Return to The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
