The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
The Ultimate C Test
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At the edge of the universe there is a planet well hidden from the rest, as seen by a few, the result of a really mean C test, this has been told:
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No one tried to C how it could end, that infamous programmers experiment:
"The ultimate C++++++ program."
They used all programs known to C in an effort to portray a "GOD" to be.
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They started on a planet, named QBASIC, running programs to change small brains. They expanded in ratio to their IQ, so did the programs until, the small brains became just brains, and could handle most anything, with the exception of; "Understanding, love and respect."
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Now you must C that minimized-confusion, was called program number "ONE", it was very special, a C++++++ programmers ultimate, dear one.
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Program "ONE" was huge and made a great impression in time and space, but it got sometimes a byte overloaded when confusion was too great.
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Years went by and then it happened, program "ONE" crashed, out of space, some lines got deleted, it made no sense, ultimate "ONE", C had failed. The reason was given; "The brains had tried learning to C all at once."
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That is how the multitude of programmers stumbled and discovered, the "ultimate error of all times"; C it had no end.... , the safest course was a long distance, planet QBASIC, send.
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The planet QBASIC, continued in its newly created space orbit, now located at the edge of the universe, with some lines of program "ONE"
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The learned and other brains now on their own, raged by fear of no "ONE", they gave their own brains some names, and so calmed their neurons and eventually they grew.... all sorts of body parts, soon they learned how to talk and then how to walk and some then ran.
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They managed to create strange new languages. Some were never spoken. That gave them "basic" ideas, similar to old program "ONE". Adding major revisions as who was who, with how much. Some great and long titles were given, some overstated, some madly rejected. It caused lots of renaming.
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They constructed tall buildings, so brains studying "ONE", C no ceiling,
lots of other planet-wise things they created, some as useful as H-bombs.
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While a few wrote and used programs such as hate, greed and lust just to mention three, others relied on programmers bibles to zip things in.
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Mostly all tried to find a "basic program" to communicate with the known program lines left of "ONE", it was all so simple; "Basic.... to C."
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The confusion that followed did no one good, many wars they fought while praying and shouting for "ONE". Millions of them died in this way, while some program "ONE" lines lingered on; ""ONE" could no longer C."
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They called program "ONE" by all different names except when in vain.
Centuries past, suddenly a flash;
"Believe in one "GOD" make it clear,
not in "ONE", hidden by so many different names."
"ONE" had finally been decoded; "C it's not confusing."
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That's how the planet QBASIC, learned a clear Basic vision to C in piece.
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This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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