FeministsmiceHomosexualsVice Presidents
LawyersgodsOregoniansPsychiatrists
and by now many others who are offended to have been left off this list. The last time I looked there were about 185 jokes in this compendium.
Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
A:Three - One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle... ... and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three - One to do it and two to stand there and tell each other how they could have done it better.
Q: How many (computer) programmers (or software engineers) does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a hardware problem.
A: None, they just have marketing portray the dead bulb as a feature.
A: Three - actually, it only takes one, but two can be relied upon to leave the project in the middle of the job.
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six - One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to (share) the experience.
A: Three - one to change the light bulb and two to say "oh Wow!"
Q: How many Marinites does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five - one to screw it in and four to sit in the hot tub and discuss the environmental impact.
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five - One to change the bulb and four more to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.
Q: How many union shop stewards does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty - 50? Yeah 50; its in the contract.
Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
Q: How long does it take?
A: For a 100 watter, about 750 hours (check package for details).
Moral: Don't hire a psychiatrist to change your light bulbs.
Q: How many hardware folks/FSE's does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that's a software problem.
A: None, they always work in the dark!!!!
A: None, real computerists only use LEDs.
Note: the term `computerist' comes from Dickson's book.
Q: How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: As many as you want; they're all virtual, anyway.
Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's Proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
Q: How many grocery store cashiers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Are you kidding? They won't even change a five dollar bill.
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One - but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
A: It all depends on the size of the grant.
A: Two and a professor to take credit.
Q: How many "Real Men" does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, "Real Men" aren't afraid of the dark.
Q: How many "Real Women" does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, "Real Woman" would have plenty of real men around to do it.
The ULTIMATE Question:
How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Q: How many Philosophy Majors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: What do you mean by change?
Q: How many University of Chicago economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they let market forces take care of it.
Q: How many men named Hans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Many Hans make lights work!
Q: How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It depends which light bulb joke you're reading.
Q: How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fourteen. You got a problem with that?
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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