The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Moderator Jokes
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*** Humor Moderator Jokes ***
1. How many humor moderators does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. They think the world revolves around them.
2. Why don't humor moderators like making Look-Aid? Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
3. Why did the humor moderator climb the glass wall? To see what was on the other side.
4. What do humor moderators and cow pies have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
5. Why do humor moderators like tilt steering wheels? More head room!
6. Why don't humor moderators eat pickles? Because they get their heads stuck in the jar.
7. Why do humor moderators wear panties? To keep their ankles warm.
8. What do humor moderators say after making love? "are you boys all on the same team?"
9. How does a humor moderator turn on a light after sex? She opens the car door.
10. What do humor moderators and turtles have in common? Once on their back, they're screwed.
11. What's the mating call for a humor moderator? "I think I'm drunk!"
12. What's the mating call for a brunette? "has the humor moderator gone home yet?"
13. Why do humor moderators wash their hair in the sink? What's where you wash vegetables.
14. Why does the humor moderator have TGIF written on here tennis shoes? "Toes Go In First."
15. What do humor moderators and beer bottles have in common? their both empty from the neck up.
16. How do you give a humor moderator a brain transplant? Blow in her hear.
17. How do you get a humor moderator's eyes to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
18. What do you call a zit on a humor moderator's butt? A brain tumor.
19. What's the advantage of being married to a humor moderator?
You can park in a handicapped zone.
20. How do you make a humor moderator laugh on a Monday morning?
Tell her the joke on a Friday afternoon.
21. If a humor moderator and a brunette jumped off a 20-story building at the same time, who would hit the ground first? The brunette. The humor moderator would stop and ask for directions.
22. How can you tell that a humor moderator has had a bad day?
She has a tampon behind her ear, and she doesn't know what she did with her pencil.
23. What does a humor moderator say after multiple orgasms? "Way to go team!"
24. How can you tell if a humor moderator owns a vibrator?
Chipped teeth.
25. Why did the humor moderator have square breasts? She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.
26. How can you tell that a humor moderator has been using your computer? There's White-out all over the screen.
27. Why do humor moderators have so much free time? Because so little is expected of them.
28. Why do you call a brunette standing between two humor moderators? An interpreter.
29. How many humor moderators does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? Three. One to mix the batter, two to peel the M&M's.
30. How do you drive a humor moderator insane? Ask her to alphabetize your M&M's.
31. How do you keep a humor moderator baby amused? Give her a mirror and some makeup.
32. What do you call a humor moderator wearing a brunette wig?
Artificial Intelligence.
33. What do you call a humor moderator with a dollar bill on top of her head? All you can eat for under a buck.
34. Why is it so difficult for a humor moderator to get a driver's license? They can't reach the pedals from the back seat.
35. How many humor moderators does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They only screw in cars.
36. What's the difference between a humor moderator and a Ferrari?
You can usually find a guy who hasn't been in a Ferrari.
37. What do you call three humor moderators standing shoulder to shoulder, ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
38. What's the first thing a humor moderator does in the morning?
She goes home.
39. Why did god give humor moderators one more brain cell than a horse? So whey they're waving in a parade, they won't crap in the street.
40. How do you tell if a bleached humor moderator did your landscaping? The bush in front is a different color than the other foliage.
41. What did the humor moderator have tattooed on her inner thigh?
"Welcome home, troops of Desert Storm."
42. What's the similarity between a humor moderator and a plate of Jello? They both quiver when you eat them.
43. What do you call a humor moderator with a PhD in nuclear engineering? Honey.
44. How does a humor moderator know that she's slept with an elephant?
a) The smell of peanuts on his breath
b) She's pregnant for 23 months, and
c) The big "E" on his pajamas
45. What's the best way to murder a humor moderator? Put a scratch-n-sniff on the bottom of a swimming pool.
46. What's the difference between humor moderators and whores?
humor moderators have more money, humor moderators skirts are shorter, and humor moderators wiggle more when they walk.
47. What's the difference between a humor moderator and a brunette whore? The color of her hair.
48. Did you hear about the humor moderator that liked younger men?
She started sleeping with Cub Scouts, but her doctor made her quit when she got up to three Packs a day.
49. humor moderators put perfume behind their ears. What do brunettes have to put behind their ears to attract men? Their knees.
50. Why did the humor moderator have a sore belly button? Her boyfriend was a humor moderator too.
51. Is it true that humor moderators have more fun? No, but their boyfriends do!
52. What do you call fifteen humor moderators standing in a circle? A dope ring.
53. If Tarzan and Jane were humor moderators, what would Cheetah be? The smartest of the three.
54. What would have happened if Pee Wee Herman were humor moderator? He would have had something better in his hand.
55. What would the press have called Jeffrey Dahmer if he were humor moderator? That silly psychopathic murderer.
56. Why is it so hard to teach a humor moderator to drive? They keep getting in the back seat, and they think the steering wheel's a clothes rack.
57. What do you call a prostitute and three humor moderators?
Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.
58. What do a peroxide humor moderator and a 747 have in common?
They both have black boxes.
59. What do you do when a humor moderator throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
60. How do you kill a humor moderator? Put spikes on her shoulder pads.
61. Two humor moderators were walking along and cam to some tracks. One humor moderator said "Those look like deer tracks."
And the other said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They were both still arguing when the train hit them.
62. What's the difference between a humor moderator and a bowling ball? You can only fit three fingers into a bowling ball.
63. What do you call a group of humor moderators in a freezer?
Frosted flakes.
64. What did the humor moderator call her pet zebra? Spot.
65. What do you call 1,000 humor moderators at the bottom of the sea? A good start.
66. What do you call a humor moderator with an I.Q. of 250? A crowd.
67. Why don't humor moderators wear hooped earrings? Because they get their heels caught in them.
68. What's the difference between a humor moderator and a brick?
A brick won't follow you around after you lay it.
69. What do a humor moderator and a computer have in common? You don't really appreciate them until they go down.
70. Did you hear about the humor moderator that was driving from New York to California, who kept seeing the sign "Clean Rest Rooms Ahead?" It took her three weeks to get there.
71. Did you hear about the humor moderator going to California?
She saw a sign that said, "California Left," so she went home.
72. What do you call an intelligent humor moderator? A golden retriever.
73. Why don't humor moderators become pharmacists? They can't figure out how to get that little bottle in the typewriter.
74. Why did the humor moderator get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away all of the W's.
75. Why can't humor moderators make ice cubes? Thy don't know the recipe.
76. What did the humor moderator say when she found out she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
77. Why was the humor moderator grabbing at the air? She was trying to collect her thoughts.
78. Why did the humor moderator wear condoms in her ears? So she wouldn't get hearing aids.
79. What is the difference between an intelligent humor moderator and bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
80. Why didn't the humor moderator like duck hunting? She couldn't throw her lab high enough.
81. How did the humor moderator die smoking when she was driving down the freeway? She threw the wrong butt out of the window.
82. Two humor moderators were driving along and the one humor moderator asked the other to check and see if her turn signal was working. The other replied, "It is, it isn't, it is, it isn't, it is,..."
83. Why did the humor moderator keep driving around the block?
her turn signal was stuck.
84. What do humor moderators like that is six inches long and has a head on it? A hundred dollar bill.
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Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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