The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Are you a BBS Adict
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ARE YOU A BBS ADDICT?
1. Do you own a modem? (if the answer is NO, STOP! read no further. Anyone who would use a borrowed modem to access a BBS may one day be addict, but is not one at this time.)
2. Is your modem 1200 baud or higher? (c'mon now, another obvious quest but one that has to be asked...we have to weed out the fakes here.)
3. No matter what baud modem you own, (even 9600) do you wish you had one that was faster?
4. Have you used your modem in the past week?
5. In the past 24 hours?
6. In the past 30 minutes?
7. Do you regularly call more than 5 BBSs.
8. More than 10?
9. Have you filled up your entire dialing directory and call them ALL?
10. Are your phone bills regularly over $100 a month?
11. Over $300?
12. Over $500?
13. Is there any other monthly bill that you pay higher than your phone bill?
14. Is your phone bill so large it gets delivered by UPS?
15. Do you tell yourself after receiving a phone bill that you will cut on your long distance BBSing, and end up subscribing to Dial-a-Visit instead?
16. Do you leave long tearful announcements on LD BBSs telling everyone you will no longer be calling because you cannot afford to, and then check back every 3 or 4 days anyway, "just to see if anyone left me mail?"
17. Does your phone company send you hand written thank-you notes?
18. When you return from vacation, do you get a call from your phone com asking if everything is all right?
19. Do you find yourself taking naps so that you can be awake and refresh for a late-night BBS session?
20. Have you ever cancelled a date cause he/she wants a late night dinner when the phone rates are lowest?
21. Do you call during the morning hours, knowing the rates are the high with the excuse that "at least I will be able to get on?"
22. Is your spouse ready to oil the keyboard to get rid of that annoying late night 'clickety clack' ?
23. Do you ever sleep for more than 2 hours at a stretch?
24. Have you suddenly discovered that you can touch type from all those sessions done in the dark?
25. What else can you do in the dark?
26. Do you cringe when you see lightning coming your way and rush to unplug your modem from the wall?
27. Do you continue your BBS session anyway because you are in the middle a 1200 block download at 1200 buad...and you are willing to take you chances?
28. Do you own a back-up generator so you can run your computer even when the power company can't?
29. Do you have a complicated set of air motion devices hanging all around your computer and modem, because you never turn them off?
30. Have you ever logged on to a BBS, and then realize that you have no what city, state, or country it is in?
31. Can you log onto a BBS, Browse, and log off without ever having to turn the monitor on?
32. Can your spouse spot you in a crowd from the back of your head?
33. Is there a worn spot in the rug in front of the computer?
34. Are the words ON LINE burnt into the screen?
35. Do you know your modem initialization string by heart.
36. Do you consider your self a militant non techie, yet you still know enough to be able to change the string to make the computer run silent?
37. Do you know more about what is going on in the lives of the people in the BBS community than you do about the people you live with?
38. Do you order disks in lots of 100 or more?
39. Have you recently bought a hard drive cause you are tired of messing with floppy disks all the time?
40. ...And then discovered that the hard drive you just bought is not go to be big enough for your library of files, and you are going to having use diskettes anyway?
41. Does your hard drive contain more files than any of the BBSs you call?
42. Do you actually use any of those files?
43. Do you compete with others to be the #1 user on every BBS you call?
44. Have you had to install yet another phone line into your house, because no one can reach you cause the phone is busy all the time?
45. Have you ever put a BBS on redial, and patiently waited hours to get a connect?
46. ...And suddenly be struck with an URGENT need to use the bathroom just the words CONNECT appear on the screen?
47. Do you make it a point to call a sysop whose BBS is down, even if it 4:00 in the morning?
48. Do you have 9 zillion copies of your terminal program...just in case of them crashes?
49. Do you page sysops into chat, even though you see the message 'sysop not available' again and again, just because you think that maybe he will make an exception for you?
50. Do sysops hate you and wish lightning would fry your modem?
51. Do you run over to your computer the instant you wake up in the morning, to see what is going on in BBSland... before you've even taken a piss?
52. Are you late for work/school in the morning because you insist on answering all 235 net mail messages you've received...all consisting one word replies?
53. Have you forgotten how to turn on your TV because its been so long sence you've watched it?
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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