The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Who pays the bill
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From : Arlene Degner 1:140/62 28 Oct 95 06:08:30
Dear Sir:
In reply to your request to send a check, I wish to inform you that the present condition of my bank account makes it almost impossible.
My shattered financial conditions are due to Federal laws, corporation laws, mothers-in-law, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law, and outlaws.
Through these taxes I am compelled to pay a business tax, assessment tax, head tax, school tax, income tax, casket tax, food tax, furniture tax, sales tax and excise tax. Even my brain is taxed.
I am required to get a business license, car license, hunting license, fishing license, truck and auto license, not to mention marriage and dog license. I am also required to contribute to every society and organization which the genius of man is capable of bringing into life; to women's relief, unemployed relief, and gold digger's relief. Also to every hospital and charitable institution in the city, including the Red Cross, the Black Cross, the Purple Cross and the Double Cross.
For my own safety, I am compelled to carry life insurance, liability insurance, burglary insurance, accident insurance, property insurance, business insurance, earthquake insurance, tornado insurance, unemployment insurance, old age insurance and fire insurance.
My own business is so governed that it is no easy matter for me to find out who owns it. I am inspected, suspected, disrespected, rejected, dejected, and compelled until I prove an inexhaustible supply of money for every known need of the human race.
Simply because I refuse to donate something or another I am boycotted, talked about, lied about, held up, held down and robbed until I am almost ruined. I can tell you honestly that except for a miracle that happened I could not enclose this check. The wolf that comes to my door nowadays just had pups in my kitchen. I sold them and here's the money.
Would like more business to pay more taxes.
Sincerely yours,
... * If you think you're confused now, wait until I explain it
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Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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