The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
From : Anthony Chalue
A P P L I C A T I O N
To be a
R E D N E C K
The following information will be used to determine your qualifi-
cations to fill the Position of REDNECK. This is an elite Group and
only the top qualifiers will be considered.
Please take your time and fill out the answers to the questions
below as accurately as you can.
1. Name: _________________________________________________________
Last Name First Name M.I.
2. Nickname: (what they call you!): ______________________________
3. C.B. Handle (What they call you on the Radio!): ________________
4. Father (If Unknown, List 3 Suspects!): _________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
5. Neckshade: ____ Light Red ____ Medium Red _____ Dark Red
6. Number of Teeth exposed in full grin: Upper: _____ Lower: _____
7. How many pick-ups do you own!
____ 1 ____ 2 ____ 3 ____ 4 ____ 5 ____ A heap of 'em
8. List Make, Models & Years of all Pick-ups:
Year: Make: Model: Tire Sizes:
______ ___________________ ____________________ _____________
______ ___________________ ____________________ _____________
______ ___________________ ____________________ _____________
______ ___________________ ____________________ _____________
9. Are your trucks equipped with any of the following:
____ Gunracks (____ Factory Equipped ____ After Market)
____ Decals (____ Beer Decals ____ American Flag)
____ Mud Flaps (____ With Emblem ____ With-out Emblem)
If Mud Flaps have Emblem, list the Emblem Below:
_________________________________________________
____ C.B. Radio (Type: ________________________________________)
____ Camper Top
____ Mud Tires
____ Hi-Jack Shocks
____ Fuzz Buster
____ 8-Track Casette Player (With 8-Tracks)
10. Does your vehicle display any of the follwing Bumper Stickers?
____ Honk if you're Horney!
____ I love Dixie!
____ I Love (your State)!
____ I love Country!
____ If you ain't Country, you ain't S***!
____ Honk if you love Jesus!
____ American Made
____ Old Fart
____ I eat Road Kill
____ I snatch kisses and Vice-versa.
____ They can have my Gun when they pry it from my Cold, Dead
Fingers!
____ Better Dead, then Red!
11. Favorite Beverage:
____ Soda ____ Beer (Any Kind) ____ Beer-Iron City
____ Beer-BUD ____ Beer-Strohs ____ Beer-Pabst
____ Beer-Coors ____ Beer-Foreign ____ Beer-Domestic
____ Jack Daniels ____ Southern Comfort ____ MD 2020
____ Water (Any) ____ Whiskey (Any) ____ Well Drinks
12. Favorite Singer:
____ Tammy Why-not ____ Loretta Lynn ____ Dolly Parton
____ Hank, Sr. ____ Hank, Jr. ____ Elvis
____ Johnny Cash ____ Willie & Waylon ____ Willie
____ Waylon ____ Conway Twitty ____ other
13. Favorite Recreation:
____ Drinking ____ Shooting ____ Dinkin' & Shootin'
____ Dancing ____ Drinkin & Dancin' ____ Fishing
____ Fighting ____ Drinkin' & Fighting ____ Flea Markets
____ Yard Sales ____ Other
14. Your Weapon of Choice:
____ Tire Iron ____ Pick Handle ____ Shotgun
15. Emblem on your hat!
____ NRA ____ Eagles Club ____ American Legion
____ Moose Club ____ PTL Club ____ Elks Club
16. How many cars do you have on blocks in the Front Yard? ____
17. Last time you mowed the Backyard, How many pick ups did you
find? ____
18. When was your last Elvis Sighting? ____________________________
19. Do you wear: _____ Polyester Pants ____ Levis
20. Do You own Shoes? ____ Yes ____ No
21. Are you married to any of the following?
____ Sister ____ Cousin ____ Cousin's Sister
22. Does your spouse weigh more than your Pick-Up? ____ Yes ____ No
23. Do you sign your name with a large or small X? _________________
24. Have you stayed sober longer than 24 Hours? ____ Yes ____ No
25. Can you count to 10 with your shoes on?
26. Can you count to 20 with your fly closed?
27. Have you ever had more than 1 Bath a week?
28. How many kitchen appliances do you have on your front Porch? ____
_________________________________
Please sign with a small "x"
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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