The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Pet Jokes
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A baby sardine saw a submarine for the first time. "What is that?" he asked his mother in a fearful voice. "Don't be scared," she replied. "It's just a can of people."
Just to make sure, the vacationer asked the native Floridian if there were any alligators around. Reassured that there were none, he dove into the water only to hear the man on the beach shout, "Alligators never come around here...the sharks scare them away."
Q: What goes up into the air white and comes down yellow and white?
A: An egg.
Q: What do you call a frightened skindiver?
A: Chicken of the sea.
Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma has a pause at the end of its clause.
Q: Why do cows wear cowbells?
A: Because their horns don't work.
Q: What do you get when you cross a goat and an owl?
A: A hootenanny.
Q: How can a leopard change his spots?
A: By moving.
Q: What turns without moving?
A: Milk. It can turn sour.
Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don't work.
A guy is walking along the street when he sees a crowd of people running towards him. He stops one of the runners and asks "What's happening?"
"A lion has escaped form the zoo!" is the reply.
"Oh my God! Which way is it heading" says the guy.
"Well you don't think we're chasing it do you?"
Q: What animal has four legs, and an arm?
A: A pit bull!
Q: Why is that dog running in circles?
A: It's a watchdog, and it's winding itself up.
Q: What did the five-hundred-pound mouse say when it walked into the alley?
A: Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!
Q: Why does the baby duck walk softly?
A: Because it's a baby and it can't walk, hardly.
Q: Why does a cow wear a bell?
A: Its horns don't work.
Q: What did the baby porcupine say when it backed into the cactus?
Q: Is that you, Mother?
Q: What did the angry octopus say to the octopus that made him angry?
A: One of these days....pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.... right in the kisser!
Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: There's something between us that smells.
Q: What did one toe say to the other?
A: Don't look now, but there's a heel following us.
Q: What do you do if you smash your toe?
A: You call a tow truck.
Q: What is a ringleader?
A: The first one in a bathtub.
Q: What is a bulldozer?
A: A sleeping bull.
Q: Why does an elephant have a trunk?
A: So that it has someplace to hid when it sees a mouse.
Q: Why does an elephant like peanuts?
A: It can send in the wrappers for prizes.
Q: What goes clomp, clomp, clomp, swish?
A: An elephant with wet sneakers.
Q: How do you stop a herd of elephants from charging?
A: You take away their credit cards.
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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