The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
THE FIRST BOOK OF PRESTON,
CALLED GENDERLESS
Chapter 1
27) And Svend created man in his own image, in the image of Svend created he him; male and male created he them. 28) And Svend blessed them. And Svend said unto them, Be fruitful, multiply the appropriate provincial taxes and forgetteth not the GST, and replenish the specialty coffee shops, and subdue thy res-tau-rant patrons with goodly service; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heavens, and over every living thing that moves well upon the menus. 29) And Svend said, Behold, I have given you every herb yielding seed, which is to be mixed in a light raspberry inaigrette, warmed with a selection of in-season mushrooms, and a generous dollop of local chevre. And, I forgot, toasted seed of the se-sa-me. 30) And Svend saw every thing that he had written on the back of his pad, and, behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.
Chapter 2
18) And Svend said, It is not good that man should be alone. What if he calls in sick: I will make a help mate for him. 19) And out of the backbench, Svend formed every bit of a private members bill of fare, and presented it to the beasts in the fields, or Commons. Whatever the man called every item on the bill of fare, that was the name of it. 20) And the man gave names to all articles, and to the selection of transferable benefits, and to every beast in the fields or Commons with enmity, but there was not found a help mate for man. 21) And Svend did bring forth many rounds of strong drink, and caused a deep sleep to fall upon man, and he slept; and he took one of the unsevered meaty backribs of great fame, and closed up the rack with extra herb instead of it. 22) And from the backrib, which Svend had taken from the platter, made he a partner, and brought him unto the man. 23) And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh in my flesh. He shall be called Spousal Equivalent, because we have taken out the appropriate forms of registration and transfer of benefits. 24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his spouse or spouse equivalent, and shall go to the big city and cleave unto a res-tau-rant, and there meet one to his taste, and they shall be one family unit. 25) And they were both naked, the man and his spouse equivalent, and were not ashamed. And the man called his spouse equivalent's name Steve; because that would sorely pisseth off Re-form.
ONWARD PRESTON SOLDIERS
Preston Manning:
Now just because Rottenfuhrer Herb Grubel goes and tells the truth in the House of Commons about our red friends, don't twist your shorts up.
Hey, were called rednecks in the House, and did you see us get all indig- nant about that?
You did? Oh. Well, then we empathize with the victimization and exploita-tion of our non-Eurogenic brothers. We apologize.
Oh, jeez, here comes those NAC dykes. Gotta run.
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Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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