The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
School Jokes
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The headmaster of a fancy British school was lecturing his students on etiquette. He said, "In moments of stress or agitation, you must count to twenty before you speak up."
One student raised his hand: "Nineteen, twenty, your pants are on fire!"
A Professor of English came in one monday morning after a hard weekend. He didn't feel ilke teaching anything so he gave the class this assignment:- "Write a story incorporating the elements of religion, royalty, sex and mystery"
Everyone started thinking. After two minutes, most had started, then one student scribbled furiously, then took his page to the front of the room and gave this essay to the professor.
"My God, said the princess! I'm pregnant! I wonder who done it?
The kindergarten teacher wanted to find out who was responsible for the suspicious pool of liquid in the corner. She told the children to all close their eyes, and the one responsible could come forth anonymously, and write their name on the blackboard.
They all closed their eyes, including the teacher, and soon the familiar sounds of chalk on slate could be heard. After a few moments, the teacher allowed them all to open their eyes, as she went forth to read the name. There below the blackboard was another puddle, and written on the blackboard was "The Phantom Piddler strikes again."
Three absent-minded professors were talking together in a bus terminal. They got so engrossed in what they were saying that they didn't notice the bus had pulled in. As the driver sang out,"All aboard," they looked up startled and dashed from the platform. Two of them managed to hop on the bus, but the third didn't make it. As he stood sadly watching the bus disappear into the distance, a stranger tried to cheer him up, saying, "You shouldn't feel too bad. Two out of three made it, and that's a pretty good average."
The professor shook his head. "But THEY came to see ME off."
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Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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