The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Title: Kook Book Humor #5 - Al Martin
Brunch:
Term derived from combining the words "breakfast" and "lunch" and used to describe a lavish, buffet-style meal usually served at midday on Sunday, during which gluttons and lushes (glushes) eat and drink too much (gobbuzzle), then fall asleep in the middle of a conversation (chatnap).
Butcher Block:
1. Hardwood chopping block or counter surface.
2. Obscure mental condition that causes some purveyors of meat to describe a portion of a cow's hoof as prime sirloin steak.
Butter:
Natural cooking product made from churned milk. Butter is a delicious and essential part of good cuisine, both as a cooking medium and as a sauce constituent, and it is thus distressing that doctors counsel its near total elimination from our diets for reasons of health. It should be noted, however, that whatever the ill effects of long-term butter consumption may be, they pale in comparison to the impact on the blood pressure of being kept waiting for and hour and a half in a physician's outer office with the July 1971 issue of National Geographic while he discusses the tuning of his Maserati with his mechanic, or the severe shock to the heart caused by receiving his bill.
Cabbage:
This soggy, foul-smelling vegetable is almost always shunned by the otherwise knowledgeable cook, and that's a pity because it makes an ideal dinner party side dish. For one thing, it's certain that no one will have some classic recipe to one-up you with, since cabbage is just not the sort of foodstuff that attracts fashionable culinary experimentation; second, the presence of a bowl of thoroughly cooked cabbage on the dining table has the welcome effect of focusing appreciative attention on the remaining courses, no matter how humble or casually prepared they may be; third, a little goes a long way (figure about one pound of cabbage for 70 people, if they are hearty eaters); fourth, the aroma produced by the cooking process seems to discourage guests from tarrying in the house in which it was prepared; and finally, there are no leftovers to contend with, not because there are no leftovers, God knows, but because there is never the slightest hesitation about immediately disposing of them.
Cake:
There are two basic types of cakes familiar to the home chef: Strange and Dismal. Which of the two emerges from the oven depends on whether the pan was too large or too small; whether the oven was too high or too low; whether the cake was baked for too long or too short a time; whether too much or too little sugar, flour, or baking powder was used. A third type, Perfect, is available in pastry shops.
Calorie:
Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.
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Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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