The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Thanks Michael Welch via ORBWARS and JOKEMASTER
STARDATE 73823.6: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? (1)
Chakotay: Who cares why? I just gotta find it. _That_ was my animal guide!
Neelix: Actually, Captain, I'm not really familiar with the chickens in _this_ system. But, if you catch it, I can cook it.
Holodoc Zimmerman: How should I know? No one tells me anything around here. I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew. All I know is that it would have been nice if, _before_ the chicken went off to cross the road, it had remembered to turn me off!
Riker: I don't know why, but I know how: with pleasure, sir.
Worf: I don't know. KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.
Dr. Crusher: If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe.
Dr. Soran: His heart just wasn't in it. (That didn't make much sense in this joke because I edited out a scene where he tortures the chicken with a nanoprobe.)
Scotty: Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.
"Friendly" Angel: It was being swept aside to make room for the _strong_!
Charlie X: Because it didn't want to STAY... STAY... STAY...
Kirk: To . . . GET! . . . totheOTHER! . . . SIDE!
Quark: There is no profit in chicken.
Captain Sisko: Chicken? I haven't had chicken since I was back on Earth 2 years ago. The replicators don't do it justice. Did I ever tell you about the time...
Dax: I once had a chicken as a temporary simbiant. But it was a little cocky. It would make the road come to it.
Cardassian judge: It does not matter, it is guilty. Death is the only justice.
Odo: What's a chicken? Were there laws violated?
Picard: I don't know, but it must have some significance. Send an away team to retrieve it; by force if necessary.
Data: It is actually an illusion. The chicken was suspended 2 meters above the surface of the planet. As our sensors passed overhead, it APPEARED to transverse the thoroughfare, when in fact, it remained stationary.
Counselor Troi: This poses an interesting psychological question for which man is not equipped to answer. I would suggest daily sessions for the chicken; and bi-weekly for the road.
Wesley Crusher: We conducted an experiment in the Academy. To make it more interesting, I booby-trapped the pathway with anti- matter proximity mines. None of the 1284 chickens made it across the road.
Romulan Commander Tio: We do not care. If we can not have it, we will destroy the creature and the road.
Borg: It is irrelevant. It will be assimilated.
Q: You ridiculous humans concern yourselves with the most insignificant questions. There are no chickens in the Continuum; for that matter, there are no roads.
Star Fleet Headquarters: We are analyzing available telemetry data in order to prepare an appropriate response. Please stand by...
Ship's computer: There are no variety of domestic fowl on the ship's manifest, other than a small unregistered bird which Commander Riker keeps in his quarters for undisclosed purposes.
Holodeck computer: Please enter more specific parameters; width of the thoroughfare, type of terrain, size and speed of the animal, and whether the chicken or the egg came first.
Spock: It is not logical, Captain.
"Bones" McKoy: I think it's dead, Jim. Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a plucker...
Thanks to Jack Kolb IKW4GWI@MVS.OAC.UCLA.EDU
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Changes were last made on 11-20-2001
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