The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
This text was published in Automotive Journal on Feb.6,95
Author: Orson Cull
It is time to trade your car when:
1. Small children gather outside your house at 7:00 a.m. to watch you try to start it.
2. Your mechanic says he doesn't carry parts for an import - and you're actually driving a domestic.
3. You overhear your youngest daughter explaining to a neighbour that your "religion" forbids you from entering a new car dealership.
4. You are using up an awful lot of gas - especially when parking overnite.
5. You search the dashboard for something "digital" and all you can find is the serial number.
6. Your inlaws agree that your car accurately represents your own unique personality.
7. Your insurance company asked that the car be safety-certified and you had it done. Now they are insisting on a "second opinion".
8. When you stopped for gas in small town, the attendant said that if you didn't turn the engine off while he filled it, he would never be able to fill it.
9. You notice that the starter motor on your engine is larger than some of the newer Suzukis.
10. Your dog crawled under the seat other day - and was never seen again.
11. Your favourite downtown parking lot won't accept your business anymore - he says two cars can fit comfortably where your normally goes
12. Your tires are wearing, but not on tred.
13. Your wheelbase is too wide for those pull-through car washes.
14. Police routinely pull you over to check for guns.
15. In a moment of weakness, you offered to give the car to your 16-year-old nephew, the one out on parole. He turned you down.
16. You went to a body shop to get an estimate on new paint and they assumed you came for collision work.
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Changes were last made on 12-30-2001
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