The Coffee Place's Joke Stack

"NOTHING HAPPENED WHILE I WAS AWAY?"

A gentleman is returning home after a lengthy trip, and is met by his servant at the train station. This is the conversation that took place while on their way home:
"So, has anything happened while I've been away?"

"No, sir, I can't think of anything at all worth mentioning."

"Come on now, I've been away for weeks. Surely something must have happened in all that time."

"Well, sir, come to think of it, your dog died."

"My *dog* died? How awful! Still, he was getting on in years, and I suppose it had to happen some time. How did he die?"

"The vet said it was probably from eating rotten meat."

"Rotten meat? Since when do we leave rotten meat laying around for the dog to eat?"

"Well, it was the horses, sir. They'd been rotting for some time after the barn burned down."

"Good heavens! How in the world did the barn burn down?"

"It must have been some embers that blew over from the house, sir."

"The house!?" The house burnt down too? How did the house burn down?"

"Well, sir, we think someone must have knocked over a candle."

"Oh. ...Wait a moment, we don't use candles anymore to light the house! What were the candles doing there?"

"They were there for the wake, sir."

"The Wake!?! Whose Wake?"

"Your mother's, sir. She passed away quite suddenly."

"Oh, My Lord!" Mother is dead? The house is gone, along with the stable. Even my dog is dead. What did Mother die of?"

"It must have been the shock, sir."

"The shock?"

"Yes sir, the shock. When your wife ran off with the handyman the day after you left, sir. But aside from all that, it's been fairly quiet while you've been away, sir."

This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com

Changes were last made on 12-30-2001

Return to The Coffee Place's Joke Stack