The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF:
You have spray painted your girl friend's name on an underpass.
You consider a six-pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment.
Your lifetime goal is to own a Fireworks stand.
Someone asks to see your I.D. and you show them your belt buckle.
Your Jr. and Sr. Prom had day-care.
Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro Light from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her butt.
You've used lard in bed.
The Primary color of your car is Bondo.
The directions to your house include the words "turn off the paved road"
Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
Jack Daniel's make your list of most admired people.
Your wife's hairdo has been ruined by a ceiling fan.
You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty milk jug in the car.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
You barbeque Spam on the grill.
You have to scratch your sister's name out of the message "for a good time, call_______".
Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
Red Man sends you a Christmas Card.
You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
Your Dad walks you to school because you're both in the same grade.
Your wife has a beer beely and you find it attractive.
You view your family reunion as a good chance to meet girls.
You prominently display the gift you got at Graceland.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
Your front porch falls in and kills more than three dogs.
You call your boss "dude".
You think Volvo is a part of a woman's anatomy.
You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it.
You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
Your father encouraged you to quit school because Larry had an opening on the lube rack.
You need an estimate from the barber before you get a haircut.
After making love you ask your date to roll down the window.
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 12-30-2001
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