The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Reader's Digest has the best Jokes around. Here are some from the July issue.
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An engineer, a mathematician and a physicist weere standing around the university flag pole when an English professor wandered by. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"We need to know the height of the flagpole," andwered one, "and we are discussing the formulas we might use to calculate it."
"Watch!" said the professor. He pulled the pole from its slot, laid it on the grass, borrowed a tape measue and said "Exactly 7 metres." Then he put the pole back into it's slot and walked away.
"English Professor!: sneered the mathematician. "We asked him for the hight and he gives us the length!"
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An old women was sitting alone with her cat, polishing a dusty lamp she had found in the attic. A genie popped out and offered her three wishes. Thinking quickly, she said," I'd like to be rich. I'd like to be yound and beautiful again. And I'd like my cat to turn into a handsome prince." There was a puff of smoke, and she found herself young and glamorous, surrounded by riches. The cat had disappeared, and a gorgeous prince stood beside her, holding out his arms. She melted into his embrace. "Now," he wispered softly into her ear," aren't you sorry you had me desexed?"
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"Mummy, do you know how much toothpaste is in a tube?" the child asked.
"No," his mother replied.
"Well, I do. It stretches from the bathroom to the sofa."
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At a wedding reception, a priest and a rabbi met at the buffet table. "Go ahead," said the priest. "Try one of those delicious ham sandwiches. Overlooking your divine rule just this once won't do you any harm."
"That I will do, dear sir," answered the rabbi, "on the day of your wedding."
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Cross examining the woman chartged with murder, the crown prosecutor asked, "After you poisoned the coffee and your husband sat drinking the fatal dosage, didn't you feel the slightest pity for him?"
"Yes, there was a moment when I sort of felt sorry for him," the woman admited.
"And when was that?"
"When he asked for a second cup."
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Changes were last made on 05-05-2002
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