The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
Subj : Starship Practical Jokes
Reprogram the artificial gravity outside the victim's quarters to be reversed.
Reprogram the artificial gravity in the victim's quarters to reverse itself every two seconds.
Decompress the victim's cabin while they are gone to dinner.
Fill the lift (elevator) with liquid.
Synthisize 1 ton of jello (cherry, it stains pretty good) in 1 inch cubes. Turn the gravity off in the victim's floor access corridor. Start the Jello cubes orbiting the corridor. Sound battle stations.
Synthisize 15 gallons of Jello. Put a robe on it and have some security guys stand around it. Tell the victim it is ambassador Moodclob. A bunch of guys break into the room, subdue the security and eat the ambassador.
Set the gravity on the victims access level sideways. Have them "fall" into the arriving lift filled with members of the opposite sex. Fix gravity before anyone can exit lift.
- Tape down the transmit button on the intercom in Kirk's quarters.
- Re-program Holodeck to add tribbles to all of Worf's scenarios.
- Add Jello to Picard's fish tanks.
- Re-program main view screen to only display 20th century "I Love Lucy" episodes.
- Fill McCoy's diagnostic instruments with salt & pepper.
- Set phaser on overload and flush it down the toilet.
- Set transporter filters to screen out clothing prior to beaming down a diplomatic away team.
... Are you a Klingon, or is that a turtle on your head?
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Changes were last made on 05-05-2002
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