The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
From : David Nagel 1:228/500 Sun 26 Dec 93 18:13
You can tell you're an ole phart if:
First thing you do in the morning is check the obituary column to see if your name is there, and if not, get on with the day.
You actually use the hand rail when riding an escalator.
It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.
You pass up a super deal on a car because it has a stick shift.
Your teeth are like the stars and come out at night.
Your present expenses for Geritol and prune juice exceed what you spent for booze back in 'the good ole days'.
Your 'daily planner' includes an entry such as "rearrange the sock drawer". (and it's the highlight of the day)
Young ladies pay you compliments.
You can remember when bicycles had but one speed, a coaster brake and fat tires.
You recall television sets having round screens.
Movies you attended included a cartoon, a newsreel, a travelogue, and previews of coming attractions.
The whitewalls on your tires were four inches wide.
Being gay meant you felt happy.
You remember determining the sex of an individual (from the rear) by the length of their hair.
You now check the bran content of products you buy.
You must get up two or more times during the night to visit the facility'.
A bath is preferable to a shower as it requires no prolonged standing.
You find yourself using less shampoo because there is less hair but use more soap because there is more body.
You need two pair of glasses with different prescriptions.
You wear loafers and slippers as it's too awkward to lace shoes.
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Changes were last made on 05-05-2002
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