The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
From : Michael Gardiner 3:712/720 Wed 23 Feb 94 08:14
Subj : StarTrek
20 things that'll never happen in Star Trek...
1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.
2. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists who are perfectly alright.
3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck and it works perfectly.
4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new life form, only to find out it's a rather well known life form wearing a funny hat.
5. The crew of the Enterprise is struck with a mysterious plague, for which the cure can only be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sickbay.
6. The Captain has to make a difficult desision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Star Fleet Prime Directive.
7.The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP form one place to another without serious incident.
8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
9. A power surge on the bridge is rapidly correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.
10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not place them on trial.
11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some sweets.
12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon to be revealed exactly as it seems.
13. A major Star Fleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships are in the area and are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.
14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the late 20th century.
15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically seperated from her at the end of the episode.
16. Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.
17. The warp engine starts playing up a bit, but seems to sort itself out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.
18. Wesley gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarty git, and is consiquently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.
19. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.
20. Most things that are new or in some way unexpected.
- Michael (SysOp: Alliance BBS)
... (Ice rocks hit the hull) "Captain, we are being hailed."
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