The Coffee Place's Joke Stack
From : Alpha Emitter 1:2360/21 Wed 23 Feb 94 17:43
(Credit: This was taken from a fax received at my former place
of employment from an anonymous sender). ************************************************************************
How To Handle Stress
- Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your noise and try to sneeze them out.
- Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa.
- Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
- When someone says, "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.
- Forget the Diet Center and send yourself a Candy Gram.
- Make a list of things to do that you've already done.
- Dance naked in front you pets.
- Put the toddler's clothes on backwards and send him off to preschool as if nothing was wrong.
- Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
- Tattoo "OUT TO LUNCH" on your forehead.
- Leaf through a _National_Geographic_ and draw underwear on the natives.
- Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
- Pay your electric bill in pennies.
- Drive to work in reverse.
- Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episodes of "The Flintstones" during the next important business meeting.
- Refresh yourself! Put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
- Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
- Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
- Bill your doctor for the time spent in his waiting room.
- Write a short story using alphabet soup.
- Lie on your back eating celery...use your navel as a salt dipper.
- Stare at people through the tines of your fork and pretend that they are in jail.
- Make up a language and ask people for directions.
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I hope you enjoy this! -Brian
... May a thousand angry hornets take refuge in your pants.
This page is maintained by: mark@thecoffeeplace.com
Changes were last made on 05-05-2002
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